Millennials are Killing… Not Quite Everything, Apparently
Millennials may seem like soft-hearted beans who are just here for avocado toast and Snapchat streaks, but make no mistake—according to The Independent, we’re a generation of cold-blooded killers. Especially if you’re a napkin, cereal, or fabric softener. Yeah, we’re coming for you.
But there’s one institution that has been spared during our reign of terror. Turns out your local public library is safe from the millennial menace and according to the Denver Post, we’re actually the most likely age group in the nation to use libraries. What can I say, I guess the lure of free Wi-Fi is just too good to resist.
But even if you’re not totally broke, here’s three amazing things you can do through the Poudre Public Library.
Ok, this is obvious, but you don’t even have to leave your house to access everything the library has to offer. Are you one of those people who can’t sit still through a picture book, let alone a novel? Or who can’t afford a Spotify or Netflix subscription? No worries, the Poudre Library offers audio books, music, and movies, and comics through lots of different programs, including Hoopla, Naxos, Film on Demand, and Overdrive. This way, you can read or listen to music while doing the dishes or avoiding that project that’s been on your desk for a week. And yes, they do have Taylor Swift karaoke, because I knew you’d ask.
Or how to change your name, or just go read with a dog, or play with virtual reality software. I pulled all of these events off the Poudre Library event calendar, and they’re all happening in the next few weeks. It’s no wonder millennials are flocking to libraries, not when there are dogs there that the owners brought for the express purpose of being loved by those of us lost souls without pets. So, now you know where I’ll be next week.
And not just a boring sheet cake pan, my friends, no, you can get bundt-cake pans, pumpkin-shaped pans, even a Garfield-shaped pan. Because who doesn’t want to eat something shaped like Garfield’s smug face? Through the Poudre Library’s ‘Gadgets & Things’ program, you can borrow all sorts of items that would cost you at least an arm and maybe a few fingers at Costco, such as a GoPro camera or noise-cancelling headphones.
So I guess what I’m saying is, go to the library. And if you spot any wild millennials, we’ll keep the avocado toast to ourselves.