We Asked Artificial Intelligence to Roast Greeley, Colorado

Last week, we asked artificial intelligence to roast the city of Fort Collins, Colorado, as if it were a segment in a comedy show. Guess what? You all loved it so much, that we decided to ask the super smart robot machine with a brain to do the same again.

This time, we asked ChatGPT to roast the city of Greeley, Colorado. Here is the comedic roast of Greeley performed by artificial intelligence without further ado. Of course, ChatGPT kicks things off by mentioning the aroma...

Ah, Greeley, Colorado—the place where the slogan “It’s the beef” is less about quality meat and more about the fact that you’ll spend your weekends wondering how to escape the smell. Honestly, if you’re not inhaling the aroma of cow manure, are you even really in Greeley? It’s like living in a giant barbecue pit where the main dish is your hopes and dreams.

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ChatGPT then goes on to talk about the nightlife that the city of Greeley offers or lack thereof.

Let’s talk about the nightlife—or should I say the “nightlight,” because that’s about as exciting as it gets! If you’re looking for a wild night out, you’d better prepare for a riveting evening of bowling and maybe a trip to the local Denny’s. Seriously, the biggest thrill is finding a place that’s open past 9 PM. I’ve seen more action at a retirement home bingo night than I have in Greeley’s downtown!

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And don’t even get me started on the local fashion scene. You know you’re in Greeley when cowboy boots are considered formal wear, and the local mall looks like a set from a reality show called “What Happened to the ‘90s?” It’s like a denim explosion went off, and everyone decided that flannel was a personality trait. If you can’t rock a hat that screams “I just came from the ranch,” are you really part of the community?

Finally, we come to the closing statement of the roast of Greeley, Colorado done by artificial intelligence.

But hey, Greeley does have some charm! If you define charm as being home to more agricultural fairs than you can shake a pitchfork at. Every summer, it’s like a competition for who can grow the biggest pumpkin and not get arrested for public indecency. So here’s to Greeley: the only city where you can attend a livestock show and a high school prom on the same night—and let’s be honest, the cows probably have better dance moves!

I am unsure what time frame ChatGPT used for this roast as Greeley has been quite the up-and-coming place in the past few years. There is a lot to do in Greeley in 2024 and it will only keep growing and improving year over year.

What Northern Colorado city should we have ChatGPT roast next? Send us a message on the app and let us know.