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Trip To Ancient Mayan Ruins Awakens My Alter Ego “El Grande” – Brian’s Blog

Tulum closeup
Brian Gary, TSM

Well we are back from my first ever trip south of the border. It was a great life adventure and I am so glad I went and saw part of the world I never dreamed I would be. When I was in high school I took 2 years of Spanish class. I cannot speak it well at all but I know how to say “beef, chicken, fish, water, good day and where is the bathroom?”. That is about all I retained. I basically speak “Mexican fast food menu” Spanish.

tulum group shot
Brian Gary, TSM

When I was in Spanish class we were all given our Spanish names. Brian did not translate so they called me “El Grande”. Well my old Spanish alter ego reappeared on the trip. We were on a tour of the Mayan ruins at Tulum when the tour guide asked if there were any volunteers for human sacrifice. I immediately raised my hand and he started laughing. He asked my name and I told him “They call me El Grande”. He laughed hard and then told me I would have to be a virgin. I informed him that I have been married for 27 years and for the last 25 of them I have been. He once again laughed hard while the rest of the group told my wife they were sorry for her that she married me.

tulum money shot
Brian Gary, TSM

It was a fantastic tour where we learned a lot about the ruins and saw the amazing beach around the ruins. I realize now that the Mayans who once lived there have now been replaced with an endless population of iguanas. They were coming out of every hole, crevice and opening. I hear they taste like chicken. I wanted to bring one to the room and cook him but they said no. When I got off the bus the tour guide Vincent gave me a big hug and hollered “Grande”. We had a blast! Great adventure.

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