Jesus Is in Fort Collins and He Can’t Spell

I am not sure what's going on, but here lately people have been acting relatively normal on Craigslist. I used to find a ton of downright weird stuff that made me laugh under the "Missed Connections" section, but lately Northern Colorado has been pretty boring... Until I found Jesus today! 

Jesus is 28, and from Fort Collins. Apparently he is a man looking for two women as he has his post labeled "m4ww." The title of his post caught my eye, "Jesus loves you," and was the first and only thing on clicked on. I died laughing after I deciphered it, and had to share it with you...

First off, someone needs to give ol' Jesus an English lesson... Now that we have the obvious out of the way, someone needs to teach Jesus that the way to pick up the ladies isn't by commenting on their deformities. Also, am I the only one who noticed that he is widowed? This dude seems like a freak, I am sorry if his wife died in some sort of unfortunate accident or to an illness, but I'd bet a few bucks he killed her... Just sayin'!

I'll never be able to eat fries again...