I won't candy coat it or try and tell you I am okay, I will tell you that because of your support I am here.

By now I am sure that you have had your ears filled with how great Ashley and Colton were. They could be sassy, like their mom, but they were genuine people that will be missed by many througouth eternity.

I want to thank you for being my friend and for helping me to heal. I am learning new ways to cope everyday and that I am not alone in grieving the loss of a child, or two. Some have called me strong and I just may be, but then again there are days that I could feel weaker.

I am learning that there is nothing that will fill the hole in my heart and that maybe nothing should. Through coming back to work and having brunch with friends... through looking up into the night sky and holding the two children I have left, I will be okay.

I will never stop including Ashley and Colton in my everyday thoughts, I will never eat ranch dressing without thinking of him nor will I ever get dressed without thinking, "would Ashley give me the thumbs up on this outfit or would she shake her head no" (LOL)  I will always miss her calling me mama bear and my gentle giant's laugh. The hugs and kisses that will be no more, the school lunches I won't have to make or the gas money I won't have to "lend"... nothing will be forgotten.

As I move forward today I talk to others who have lost children, I work and talk to you while playing some really great music and honor the the time I DID have with them. It's been said a million times that "our problem" is that we can't appreciate what we have or have had and always look forward to the next thing to enjoy and appreciate. It's true for me too, one of my biggest issues, if you will is all my forward thoughts... her 18th birthday, his first pile drive of the Lobo season and so on... but what I do today, or try to do today is think about all the love they shared while they were here and all they meant to our family. There are imprints in our lives because of Ashley and Colton that are priceless... lessons, laughter and love, these imprints will last for many lifetimes as we go forward and share what they gave us with others.

Please continue to pray for me/us ... you give us all strength. Thank you for being so incredible, your patience, your kindness, your donations to the Child Advocacy Center and the Rocky Mountain High School Football Boosters. Thank you for being the best friend(s) in the world.