In our lives we end up attending a lot of weddings and funerals. The one thing I find both of these have in common is that they can be way to impersonal. I think all weddings and funerals should speak volumes about who the people are or were.

How many times have you been to a funeral and thought, "Why are they speaking? They didn't even know them." You sit through the service and hear nothing about what the person was like and what kind of imprint they left on the world. My grandma's funeral was on Friday. I was not able to attend but did send a letter to be read during the service. I was told it was a highlight of the service because up until then there was nothing personal in the service. You are in charge, don't think there is something you can't do or say. It is your game and you owe it to the memory of the person who has passed to honor them with stories and memories, not just a methodical service. Make it memorable and appropriate and personal and most importantly...don't wait for a funeral to say what you want to say. Say it when they are alive so they can hear it

I feel the same with weddings. It's YOUR day. Make it what you want. You want to have some fun in it...do it. Nothing is more boring than a traditional service. When my wife and I renewed our vows many years ago we had some rocking boot scooting country to be played as people filled the church. When everyone was gathered and we were to exchange vows, I said to my wife, " I have asked all these people here today to witness this. I have something I want to say. I am gay." The whole church, including the pastor, were silenced for a second and then burst into laughter. It was hilarious and memorable. We then marched down the aisle to the sounds of "We Go Together" from the Grease soundtrack. The bottom line is that is your day and you can do what you want with it. Make it fun and personal.