Want Girls to Reply to You on OKCupid? Be Self-Effacing
So you want to send a message to a really cute girl on OKCupid, but you don't know what to say.
Last month I gave you 11 reasons I didn't reply to your OKCupid message, in which I very honestly and explicitly explained the logical and admittedly-petty reasons I and other girls don't respond to certain messages on the dating site. I decided to look into the issue a little further and ask the question, then what will make me respond to a message?
I figure it's different for every girl, so I turned to data to come up with an answer for you.
As it turns out, in order to increase your chances of having girls reply to your messages on OKCupid, there are certain words and phrases you'll need to include. One of the tips the dating site gives for guys is to be self-effacing.
Now, let's get this straight - being self-effacing does not mean you need to be less of a man. But these numbers definitely illegitimize the stupid saying, "nice guys finish last."
Really, nice guys can finish first if they're smart about their messages!
So how does one become self-effacing in an OKCupid message? Incorporate words like sorry, apologize, awkward, probably, kinda, and even pretty (like "pretty good," not "you're pretty"), because in a world where men are being told to be more confident in dating, the numbers show otherwise. When guys used the word "sorry" in their message, they saw an almost-40% response rate ("apologize" was just below that). "Awkward" got them a nearly 35% response rate.
Be careful when using the word "pretty," however. OKCupid warns against giving physical compliments. (Slow down there, buddy boy!) Though, you can say something like, "I'm pretty good at sports. What's your favorite sport to play?" Also, avoid using the word "please," because the response rate drops to 22%.
So what do you say word-for-word? That's up to you.
Like it or not, OKCupid has access to all your data, so they know what works and what doesn't. But take this advice however you'd like. Good luck on your romantical quest!