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Things to Do While Waiting for Your Laxative to Kick In

Todd Harding, TSM
Todd Harding, TSM

I have been telling you about the weight loss program I am doing and how great I feel. It has been the greatest thing I have ever done for me. I am rocking it and will continue to do so. One of the things my body is getting used to is the complete change of diet. My digestive system has gotten a bit sluggish. It is used to having tons of fats from chips and other bad foods I used to eat and seems to be confused at how to handle the goods I am giving it now so my bathroom trips have gone way down in frequency. I am taking probiotics and other things to try to get things in proper working order but still nothing has happened in a few days.

Yesterday I took a pill that should make the airbags on our toilet go off with 12-24 hours. I took the pill yesterday at 9 am and have been waiting for the explosion like a kid with a lit bottle rocket. I tried to keep myself busy in anticipation of lift off happening at any moment. I cleaned my room. I set electronic games and a water bottle beside the toilet expecting I may be spending a good period of time in there. I had towels ready to mop my sweat and a bell to ring in case I needed anything and was stuck in there. It got to be 10 o’clock last night and I was still waiting for the show to begin. I was afraid to go to sleep thinking my innards may start their tell tale gurgling in my sleep and I would have an ugly laundry day. None of that happened.

Here we are 20 hours later and the clock is still ticking and I am still waiting for mission control to alert me of impending lift off. I can feel some mild rumbling like the engines are warming up but no sign of needing to start the countdown to launch. If you hear me disappear sometime during the show today you know what has happened and I will make a joyful noise…and probably some others. Sorry for the graphic nature of this but, as you know, we are friends and we share everything with each other. Wish me luck. Here is some musical inspiration for me.

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