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The Most Intense Flatulence Inducing Food Product Known to Mankind

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Consider this blog a public service announcement. There is a dangerous product out there that is causing quick a disturbance. I am here to blow the lid off of something that many are afraid to talk about. It is time for an open discussion on an explosive danger that could be lurking in your kitchen cupboard. I am talking about sugar free syrup. This stuff can be lethal.

I am a diabetic so I buy a lot of sugar free or low sugar products. Some of those products are okay and others taste like they were made in a lab. A lot of sugar free products give you a bit of a rumbling in the digestive system but there is nothing that creates a colonic tsunami like a serving of sugar free syrup. There is something about that stuff that instantly makes you start blasting away. My dad, who is also diabetic, will come and visit and we will always go out for pancakes while they are here. That is a very dangerous day for the rest of the family. Dad and I will sit there like a couple of jazz musicians having a jam session with no instruments. You would swear we had the Tower of Power horn section in our home but it’s just me and dad enjoying the after effects of the syrup.

Last night my wife made pancakes for supper. I think it may be the last pancakes I am ever allowed to eat. She seemed angry when I lifted the pillow off of her face to kiss her goodbye this morning and there was a note on the bathroom mirror that said “we don’t like you anymore” from Kyla and the dogs. If you love your family and want them to love you…stay away from sugar free syrup. BOOM!

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