Only 2 more sleeps until what will be the hardest day of my life. On Saturday I will be driving my grandson Zander to Utah to be with his mom and dad. I have had a hand in raising this bundle of joy since the day he was born 2 years ago. There is no doubt that at my age raising a child can be exhausting but what a sweet exhaustion it has been.

I have expressed my endless love for him to you over and over so I will spare you and not get to carried away. I cannot imagine the pain I will feel when I drive away from dropping him off. I wonder if he will remember me and all the things we have shared. My life is so much better because of him. I will find my joy and I am sure in time I will be happy to "have my life back" but he has been my life. I am aware of Skype and things like that and will be using technology to help ease the pain. I know we can still chat but there is nothing like those little arms wrapped around you saying "paw paw".

Please excuse me if I break into uncontrollable tears occasionally for the next few weeks. I am a big scary looking dude but am nothing but a mush ball. I love you Zander and will have your room ready for you whenever you come to visit. You have given me so much in such a short period of time. You are my best friend, the funniest person I know, the best listener, the best snuggler, best dancer and singer, best bouncer and hopper, helper and companion anyone could ever dream of. I will have a hole that can only be filled by you. Your grampa loves you.