No Maintenance Friends – Brian’s Blog

I am a people pleaser. I like to make people happy and if they are mad at me or upset with me, I really struggle. I believe the reason I let so few people into my life to really know me is because I fear the more people I let in, the more people I have a chance to let down. If someone seems upset with me, I attack it right away. I don’t wait to see what works out. I call them right away or go see them and talk about it right then. There is no need to let something fester and become more than it needs to be. Most of the times, disagreements can be settled with a couple minutes of dialogue. Life is too short for friends to be upset over what usually amounts to nothing.

I have enough drama in my life and worrying about whether I have upset a friend is something I really don’t have time for. I tend to surround myself with “no maintenance friends”. These are the friends who are just there for you to laugh and never go too deep into life’s troubles. They understand we all have problems and don’t need to burden each other with them. We use our time together to escape the burdens. That is what I need friends for.

I had a situation this weekend where I ran into someone who was a very good friend of mine years ago. I hadn’t seen Steve in about 10 years but saw him at Wal-mart. He said hello, gave me a dirty look and walked on. I was looking forward to saying hello and seeing what he had been up to but he obviously intensely dislikes me now and I have no idea why. Isn’t it kind of childish to hold something against someone and not let them know what it is? I will never know what I did to upset Steve. It bothered me for a few minutes and then I realized I have gone 10 years without interacting with him and another 10 will be just fine. I don’t have a problem. He did. He is the one missing out on being in my life. I don’t hold grudges. You are either part of circle of happiness or you aren’t. No problem.

Be a “no maintenance friend”. Just be there for each other with no strings, obligations or expectations. That is a friend.