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Men’s “Rules?” Yes Ladies, They are Real!

There has always been “rules” when it comes to the sexes and usually the female in the relationship always thinks her rules are more important than her partners and the ones that really count.  Well, ladies, truth be told we to have our own set of “rules” and I on behalf of all the men worldwide will share those with you now…

  • Men are NOT mind readers. (FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)
  • Learn to work the toilet seat! You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
  • Sunday sports or news, it’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
  • Crying is blackmail.
  • Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
  • Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
  • Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
  • Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
  • If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the  other one.
  • You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.  Not both. If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.
  • Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
  • Captain Cook did NOT need directions and neither do we!
  • ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit and we have no idea what Mauve even is.
  • If it itches, it will be scratched. Men do that!
  • If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong.
  • If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
  • When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really.
  • Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football, Cars and/or Motorcycles.
  • You have enough clothes.
  • You have too many shoes.
  • I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!

In closing, ladies, please know this:  Sleeping on the couch is like camping to us so be careful when sending us there; we may actually enjoy it!  Now if you will excuse me I have an scratch to itch and can’t find the remote, again!

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