Knowing When To Just Walk Away – Brian’s Blog
I had a bad grandpa day yesterday. It should have been a great day for everyone. The kids were all dressed up and anxious for Halloween but I struggled. My wife and Zander were dressed up in their witch and Power Ranger costumes and hit the streets begging for candy. I was in charge of answering the door for trick or treaters and watching Zayden.
I have to admit I was weak last night. I was less of a man than I want to be. Zayden was fussy bad last night. He would not stop crying and crying. I tried everything. I made faces. I talked calmly to him. I tried to burp him. I changed his pants. I fed him. I put him in his swing. I walked him around the room and nothing worked. I was being effected by the crying and loosing patience. I was tired of drool coating my hands and arms. I was tired of puke on my shoulder and my hair. I could feel myself tensing up. I know Zayden could feel me too. I finally had to just walk into my room and lay him down and walk away for a couple minutes. I couldn't take it anymore. I was breaking. I am glad I know my breaking point and when to just walk away. A baby can cry for awhile and be just fine, it is much better than sitting in the arms of tensed up human. He doesn't deserve my tension. He is only being a baby. I was too. I am mad at myself for letting things get to me but happy that I know when to leave. There are too many people in the world who do not walk away and bad things happen. You must be in control of yourself and know your limits. We are here to love and protect the children and I am mad at me today for getting weak. I love my grand boys and would die for them. Today I am going home and holding that little man with all the love I have in my heart and telling him how sorry I was for not being stronger for him last night. Children will test your patience. Know your limits and know when walking away is the best thing for a bit. I love you Zayden and my lap will be ready for you buddy.