My wife's family must've been right when they thought I was a piece of crap because I sure am attracting flies lately. I know it is that time of year when they start coming in from the cold looking for warmth but I clearly have a "No Flies Allowed" sign outside my door. Can't they read? Don't they have like a thousand eyes?

I have had dozens of very slow flying flies occupying my air space lately and I am wearing out my fly swatting muscle. My dog Chevy is loving it because he can catch them in mid flight but that requires him jumping on tables and chairs that he should not be on but I cut him some slack because I understand the heat of a hunt. I started piling up the carcasses on my window ledge hoping the other flies will see the pile of death and know this is not a safe place for them to invade. They will know me by their trail of dead. I had 9 on the window ledge by days end. Stay away flies. I have a swatter, a bunch of magazines, two palms and fly killing dog and I ain't afraid to use them.

Are you being over run by flies too?

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