I Am Not Happy Unless I Have Something to Look Forward To – Brian’s Blog

I know I am not easy to live with and I have many issues both physical and mental that I deal with on a daily basis. I know these things effect not only me but my family too. I find myself hard to live with so I can only imagine how my family feels. It has been a learning process for me so I am sure it has been for them too.

I am an odd dude and it has taken me many years to figure out how to live with me and not go crazy. I am a complex, difficult and quirky man. I have to lie to myself every morning to get myself out of bed. I tell myself that I will rest later and get a nap if I get up now and go to work without complaining. I know I am lying but I pretend to believe me and get up and go.

One of the things I have learned about me over the years is that I always need something to look forward to. Football season is my favorite time of year. I love watching the games so much and I know every week during the season that I have a payoff at the end of the work week. I need that to get me through. As soon as the season is over I find myself searching for that “thing” to look forward to. Sometimes buying a movie will do the trick. Getting that new, freshly wrapped package of entertainment tells me I have a couple hours of escape to look forward to. Sometimes just making an upcoming dinner date with friends is enough of a carrot dangling in front of me to carry me through. Sometimes it can be as simple as thinking about what I will cook for dinner and have that to look forward to.

I guess I look at my life like a box of Cracker Jacks. I love the caramel corn and all but I really need that prize to make it complete, even if it is just a temporary tattoo or a plastic bird. It isn’t so much the prize as it is having something to anticipate. Have a great day and find something to look forward to.