Greeley-Evans Crime Log: Creepy Neighbors, Dancing Men, and Lots of LSD

Reading the Greeley-Evans crime log is continually one of the most hilarious forms of entertainment. Check out some of the interesting calls that law enforcement responded to between September 25 and September 27. You really can't make this stuff up.

Friday, September 25

9:45 a.m.: Greeley police responded to the 100 block of 21st Avenue for a report of a rabbit that looked like it died mid-stride.

11:15 a.m.: Greeley police responded to a park near the intersection of 10th Street and 18th Avenue for a report of a man sleeping in the grass with his jeans pulled down to his knees.

1 p.m.: Greeley police responded to the 2300 block of 15th Street for a report of a man who had his marijuana spiked by his roommate and his roommate’s girlfriend. The caller said he went to North Colorado Medical Center and they detected THC and an undisclosed spice in his system. The caller wanted to talk to police about what he could do, even though the roommate and his girlfriend “were sorry that they did that to him.”

2 p.m.: Greeley police responded to a retail store in the 900 block of 47th Avenue for a report of a woman who locked her kids in the car while she went shopping. The caller said the woman was only inside for about two minutes, but she wanted to know what she could do the next time she saw something similar happen. The caller also was upset because while she was taking cell phone pictures of the vehicle, the woman cursed at her.

6 p.m.: Greeley police responded to a retail store at a mall for a report of a child who accidentally broke a small dish valued at $65. The caller said it was her son and that the store owner demanded payment. The caller said she didn’t think that was legal because she works at another store nearby that has policies about not charging customers for accidentally breaking merchandise.

10 p.m.: Greeley police responded to 70th Avenue for a report of a 15-year-old who had ingested LSD. The boy’s friends called his mother because they were concerned about his behavior. The mother wanted police to respond so she could press charges.

11:30 p.m.: Greeley police responded to the intersection of 14th Avenue and 4th Street for a report of a ruckus that sounded like construction.

Saturday, September 26

4:15 a.m.: Greeley police responded to the 2200 block of 8th Street for a report of a girl who would not get off another girl’s porch. The caller said she found the girl in the middle of the street crying for her mom. The caller asked the girl if she needed help. The girl latched onto the caller’s arm and followed her home. Police later learned the girl had taken LSD.

8 a.m.: Greeley police responded to the 500 block of 9th Avenue for a report of a woman who was sexually harassing her neighbor. The caller said the woman kept asking to see his private parts, and that she had pinched his butt on several occasions in the past.

Sunday, Sept. 27

Noon: Greeley police responded to the 2100 block of 30th Street for a report of men huffing computer duster and selling drugs during a house party. The caller told police the house wouldn’t be hard to find because “they all have baggy pants with their boxers hanging out and they’re all wearing baggy Broncos jerseys.”

12:30 p.m.: Greeley police responded to a parking lot near the intersection of 8th Avenue and 16th Street for a report of a man wearing a beige overcoat dancing by himself and raising his arms up like an airplane.

2 p.m.: Greeley police responded to a mall for a report of a man who was holding a blue shirt above his head and walking in circles. The caller thought the man might need medical attention.

5 p.m.: Greeley police responded to a retail store in the 4200 block of Centerplace Drive for a report of a man who had locked himself in a bathroom stall. The man was sitting on the floor of the bathroom and could not unlock the latch to let himself out.

6:30 p.m.: Greeley police responded to 29th Street Road for a report of a man who sexually harassed a 10-year-old girl. The caller said the man approached his daughter, told her she was sexy and asked if he could rub on her. The caller chased the man, who threw a shoe that hit the girl in the head.

7 p.m.: Greeley police responded to the 2100 block of 81st Avenue for a report of a neighbor who had installed security cameras on the exterior of his home. The caller thought it was suspicious, but said she would first discuss it with her neighbors.

7:15 p.m.: Greeley police responded to a senior housing complex in the 1700 block of 30th Street for a report of a resident using too much detergent in the washing machine, which forced other residents to pay more because they had to wash their clothes more than once.