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Getting Your Butt Kicked By An 8 Month Old – Brian’s Blog

zayden in high chair
Brian Gary, TSM

I am a big strong man and feel I can hold my own against most men if I had to but an 8 month old will kick my butt every time. I was reminded of this over the weekend. I got a big bad new tattoo on Saturday and was feeling kind of manly and full of myself. I was like a kid with a new pair of sneakers. I felt like I could run and jump higher than ever…then came reality.

On Sunday my wife and daughter went to a jewelry party with Todd’s wife and left me to care for the little guys. Well Zander was no problem. He was playing Power Rangers and watching movies but his little brother Zayden was a little more of a challenge. He is 8 months old and is crawling all over the place and touching everything he shouldn’t. I can lay toys all over the floor but all he wants is plastic straw wrappers, the dog dishes and outlets. There is no way to rest with this little devil.

zayden and the bench
Brian Gary, TSM

I thought I would put up a barrier to keep him in the living room where I could keep in arms length. I put a bench down to block the kitchen, thinking there was no way he could bust through. Little did I know he would use it as a blocking sled and push it all the way to through the kitchen to back door so he could find the plants and dog bowls. I put up a gate blocking the stairs but he pried that open and tried to sneak through. I will never spend another penny on toys because they touch them. I feed him bananas which he put in his ears, under his chin and all over my face. He then hurled all over my KISS t shirt and filled his shorts like an overstuffed piece of luggage. I felt like I had been in a WWE Royal Rumble. I finally put him in his bouncy little activity center and took a breath. I was shocked  when I suddenly heard no noise. I looked down and there he was….asleep. Here is proof that he actually does sleep. I won but still feel the effects of the beat down. The sweet pain of victory.

zayden sleeping in bouncy seat
Brian Gary, TSM

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