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Corporate America Took My Water And Toilet Paper – Brian’s Blog

water and toilet paper
Brian Gary, TSM

It is no secret that I have had my battles with corporate America. I generally hate all it stands for and what it does to people and local business. I tend to feel that once you reach the home office that is out of the community, it serves that it loses all humanness. They tend to forget what it is like to really do the job. I have said before that every corporate boss should have to go on the show Undercover Boss and experience and see what it is really like to work in the company.

When the company I currently work for took over a few years ago, one of the first things they did was change my toilet paper. I used to use a multi ply tissue that felt like it came from the loom of angels. They took that away and replaced it with single ply wax paper. The kind of paper a baker would hand you a doughnut with. I have lived with this hell for a couple years and now they have taken my water. For decades I have kept my water glass in the studio and would make multiple trips up the stairs each day to get a nice cold glass. No more. I now have to bring my own jug in or drink from the toilet. We now bring our own toilet paper in too. I feel like a professional pool player who brings his own cue to the bar. I now do that with toilet paper.

I am worried about what could be next. Am I going to open the first aid kit and find nothing but a note that says “call your mom for assistance”? Will I need to start renting space in the basement fridge? I hope I don’t see a $5 parking sign in the lot soon. I love my job and what I get to do for a living but I want my water and toilet paper back. I will show myself out.

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