Brian’s Chicken Bed & Breakfast

I love to cook, in fact I do most of the cooking in our home and am proud to do so. I wish Paula Deen was my neighbor though so I could stop by and borrow a plate of whatever she is cooking every day. One of my favorite meals to cook is Cornish game hens. We have a tradition at my house of dancing the hens before you cook them. Once you have unwrapped the hens it is important to stand them up and form a conga line, do a can-can, perhaps a line dance, bunny hop or if you are daring, a tango. A properly danced hen is much better than one who has not been rug cutting.

I am not the only one who loves the hens, they are so popular in Cornwall, United Kingdom that 31 year old resident David Roberts has opened a five star “chicken hotel” for hens to be pampered while they are away. Business is going so well for David that he actually has bookings in for Christmas already. During the day the “guests” play around in a fox-free environment and sleep in luxury coops at night for $3 per coop and $1 per bird which includes meals, a nice pile of scratch on the pillow.

I am thinking I need to open one of these, mine would be like the Hotel California, they can check out any time they like but they can never leave. Hello there little hen, welcome, be sure to make an appointment for our complimentary garlic, parsley and herb oil massage by our resident masseuse Colonel Sanderson followed up by a plunge into our deep fryer…I mean hot tub or you can take a ride a on the exciting rotisserie, I mean carousel. Once your done soaking or spinning we will give you a nice wild rice and cream of mushroom enema for cleansing and you will feel like a new bird, trust me.

I guess I would make a lousy hen hotel owner, I love meat too much, heck I would think twice about letting me watch your dog or cat but if you need someone to water your garden while you are gone, I would be the safe choice.