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Brian’s Battle With The Toilet Toupee – Brian’s Blog

toilet toupee
Brian Gary, TSM

There are many things in this world that baffle me but the toilet toupee may top the list. The bathroom features some oddities. We all have the “decorative” towels and soaps we can’t use in the bathroom which frustrates me. We have up to 27 hair and body products on the shower ledge and we have this scrap of carpet on our toilet.

I have never understood the purpose of this thing. Are we hiding the toilet making people think we just have lumpy carpet in the bathroom? The battle I have with this is that when it is placed on the toilet lid and you lift the lid, it slowly drops down. You have to perfectly balance it up and move very slowly or it will fall. I feel like one of those plate spinners who used to be on the Ed Sullivan Show whenever I attempt this. I will start to pee and then the seat starts to drop. You either have to cut off midstream, which is no easy task, or end up hosing down the bathroom like an out of control car wash wand. I think we need some kind of alternative here. We have a hard enough time in keeping things clean in there, from what you tell us, so let’s remove this obstacle. I say no more! I will no longer pee under a carpet.

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