Brian Gary and the Explosive Tale of the Expired Gas Station Burrito
I have done some very risky things in my life from bungee jumping to bull fighting but the other night I took what may have been the biggest risk of my life. I hope my experience may serve as a deterrent for anyone considering making the same mistake.
The other night I was at home and feeling hunger pains bad. I opened the fridge to see a gas station burrito left over from a convenience store run a few days before. There was a 2 for 1 special and the free one was still sitting there looking at me and pleading to be eaten. I checked the expiration date and it had died 3 days earlier but being the risk taker I am, I decided to give it a shot. Ninety seconds later I was feasting on an expired buffet of mystery meat, beans and chilies. All seemed fine until 12:30 am when my stomach woke me with a sound similar to an old dial up modem. I ran to the porcelain library and sat down where I stayed until 4:15 am debating if I could make it to work or not. The air bags on the toilet were engaged at about 4 am which woke me, as I had passed out from the physical torture my $1.50 had bought me. I made it to work just on time though. I was rather unsettled for days and was afraid of taking in any substances at all for fear of rejection. I learned a valuable lesson…always have someone else in the family try the expired food before you do.